Health and fitness often focuses on working out, fitness routines, diets, and supplements. Tonight I want to touch on the mental aspect of heath and fitness...no... LIFE. I will use myself as the primary example, because like most of you, I am a deeply flawed individual. Its my ego, and its out of control, which makes everything else in my life difficult.
I’ve always been an active person.. Being in shape was just a side effect of an active lifestyle . However, I’ve always struggled with self image, I never saw myself in first place for anything. Being the hero/ leading-man, I felt like second place is good enough . My ego is fragile, so NOT being the best was just being "humble". Total bullshit, I know. It’s a lie and I knew it, but when you have a fragile ego, the person holding you back obviously is just you.
Don't misunderstand my ego. It is also overly inflated, with the small successes that I've achieved. True story, there was a time I use to smoke two packs a day and ran 18 min 5 km. No training, just lifted weights, I did this to feed my low self esteem with the false bravado, and it worked. I knew I would never win a 5km race if I went against people that trained for real. So I would just play these mind games with myself. You see, my ego was preventing me from running faster than 18 mins, but it felt good to keep telling myself the lies. I knew I was a fraud and I was to lazy, or not disciplined enough to really become a great at something.
It took many years of screwing up before I understood I didn’t have the disciple to be great. My ego told me , "you’re good brotha, go lift more, your better than most and it’s fine", "Smoking is okay if you're in shape","You deserve that drink, you lifted today". I lied to myself for nearly 25 years of my life. The ego made me see a winner, but I was like a vampire, looking in the mirror and seeing nothing.
I'm not trying to make you feel down with this blog post. However if these typed words awaken something in you then, I'm calling you out. Control yourself, and know that your ego is stopping you from living your best life. Have more courage than me. I want you to look in the mirror and see yourself smiling back, instead of nothing like a vampire.
The pictures above are examples of my douchiness in FULL EFFECT! Look at those sunglasses! Who wears shit like that ???? LOL